Dating is an emotionally risky proposition for everyone, but it can be particularly challenging for people with disabilities.
According to The New York Times, people with disabilities tend to start dating much later in life than their non-disabled peers do, and their rate of marriage is half the national average in the U.S. Marriage penalties, which punish people with disabilities in the U.S. who get married by stripping them of disability benefits such as Social Security benefits and Medicaid, only exacerbate the problem.
Despite the unique trials and tribulations that come with dating with a disability, many couples find true love.
Lisa Pipitone has been in a relationship with Clyde Tisdale for four years now and engaged for two. The couple met at Community Arts Connection, sharing lunch time together every day… except for Fridays when Lisa has a meeting.
“We don’t have a wedding yet, but we’re together,” says Lisa.
Lisa and Clyde go out on dates as often as they can, usually about twice a month depending on how many staff are working at each of their homes and available to take them out for it. That’s where Clyde proposed to Lisa, on one of their dates to Red Lobster. Clyde remembered having shrimp… and Lisa losing the ring.
But it’s more than just dates and lunches, they’re in love.
“I think about him a lot,” confesses Lisa.
Clyde likes the fact that he can talk to Lisa about anything and that she’s quiet and sweet. And Lisa takes comfort in knowing Clyde is always looking out for her, protecting her, and calming her down in high stress situations.
“Relax, I’m here. Nobody’s going to mess with you, I’m here,” he assures her.
And what better way to celebrate love than spending time together on Valentine’s Day. Community Arts Connection is holding a Valentine’s Dance that day, but Clyde says he has much more planned for Lisa.
“I’m supposed to do some shopping for her, and I might order some flowers from the flower shop. I’m not worried about money; I’m blessed by the Lord. Lord says you will receive, give what you got.”
He intends to spoil Lisa, not just today, but forever.
“I love you for the rest of my life. The only thing I’m concerned about is you. I’m not worried about anyone else, only you. You’re my woman, I love you.”
As for a wedding, they say they just need some time to plan. There’s a lot to coordinate between the DJ, the food, and size of the guest list.
“It’ll probably take us 3-5 years to do all that,” says Clyde.
Clyde Tisdale’s favorite activities there are dancing and drumming. He has also drummed for his church for 25 years. Clyde’s favorite restaurant is iHop.
Lisa Pipitone enjoys weaving, coloring, and using her iPad. Lisa’s favorite food is seafood – opting for a fish sandwich, fries, and an iced tea when at McDonald’s.